Whats keeping me from being intimate with husband

I just hate that IвЂ™m married to someone that I donвЂ™t really want to be around.

WeвЂ™re going to a counselor soon so maybe thatвЂ™ll help. Pretty much everything is 50/50 but I would be just fine on my ownвЂ¦just me & our little one. And on top of all that, heвЂ™s negative, we hardly laugh together, he often speaks rude and condescending to meвЂ¦and financially, itвЂ™s like weвЂ™re roommates. Has never hit me but has definitely threatened me, shoved me, blocked me, cornered me in the bathroom and punched a hole in the doorвЂ¦So itвЂ™s been a lot. HeвЂ™s also over the years been aggressive towards me. Said they never got physical but honestly I was kinda relieved when I found out - like maybe this was my out. HeвЂ™s also had a вЂњtext relationshipвЂќ which he doesnвЂ™t think is considered a form of infidelity but he saved her as some dudeвЂ™s name in his phone, got caught, then re-saved her again as someone else. If we didnвЂ™t have a kid together I donвЂ™t think weвЂ™d be together. ThereвЂ™s been a great deal of emotional damage done by both of us, but for me, because thatвЂ™s all I can speak for - itвЂ™s where IвЂ™m about checked out. My head is turned to the side, my body is tense, and I just want it to end.

I donвЂ™t get turned on by him, I donвЂ™t enjoy it, but if we do have sex I can only imagine what I look like or how it feels to him. For women, itвЂ™s a result of emotional deprivation: the husband is too wrapped up in his job or his hobbies or whatever else to. For men, itвЂ™s almost always a result of a sexless marriage. Research shows men and women have affairs for different reasons. In one beautiful shot, the former Suits actress can be seen sharing a special moment with her. A Sexless Marriage is a Catastrophe for Men. Forget about the sexвЂ¦thatвЂ™s pretty much nonexistent which weвЂ™ve had many arguments about. Meghan and Harry can be seen sitting alongside their flowers girls and pageboys (Image: Instagram). I canвЂ™t help these feelings, as much as I try, I canвЂ™t and itвЂ™s odd to feel guilty for something I canвЂ™t help. What you are outside the bedroom is what you bring to the bedroom. The best sex flows out of a healthy marriage.

The extreme guilt I feel is one of the hardest things. So here are four things I now focus on to build sexual intimacy with my husband. Sometimes heвЂ™ll even say вЂњno, donвЂ™t give me a weak kiss, I want a real one.вЂќ And so I give in and kiss him a little harder but all I want to do is wipe my mouth immediately. I give him this weak, half ass hug or kiss because itвЂ™s so uncomfortable for me and I know he knows. WeвЂ™ve been married for 4 years and weвЂ™ve had a lot of ups and downs to where IвЂ™m at a point where I literally cringe inside when he wants to kiss me, even when he wants a hug I tense up and really donвЂ™t want to hug him.

Whats keeping me from being intimate with husband